we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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