Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
