U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
