there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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