We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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