i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
