kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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