I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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