Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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