just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
