those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
