someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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