Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
