he thought i was a dude.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
