i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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