I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
