Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
