it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
