So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
