two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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