This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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