We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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