Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
