her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
