I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
