Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
