just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
