He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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