We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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