Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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