Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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