I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
