I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
