so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
