just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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