this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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