marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
