my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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