a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
