i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
