I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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