She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
