I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
