There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
