Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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