that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
