What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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