So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
