i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
