just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
