I'm really into asian looking animals
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
