Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
