i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
