i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
